Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
