Did you just see the Batmobile???
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
