Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
