Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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