it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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