I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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