I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
