Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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