Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize