Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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