I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
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Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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