The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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