I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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