he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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