I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
