sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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