why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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