did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
