I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
