She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
