I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
