I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
