Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
