he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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