i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
