Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
