You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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