So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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