im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
