Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
