12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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