everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
