Im at strip club and am horny
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
