I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
