i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
