Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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