Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
