Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize