Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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