He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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