i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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