His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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