I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
