I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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