she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
