Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize