wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
