im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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