New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
sex in a hospital.. check
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
