she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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