I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
