weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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