Yo dont text me then not text me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize