This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
