My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
