I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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