New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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