she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
