I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
