Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
