I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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