i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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