i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
high people should be assigned attendants
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
