oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
