Don't you send me to vm
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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