i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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