apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
