he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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