why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize