If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I pour the whiskey from now on