She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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