some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
