I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
