Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
