Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
