I'm going to jail i love you
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize